Endings are always sad, but IZ*ONE’s One, The Story concerts, which took place on March 13 and March 14, were horrendously traumatic. I admit, despite how it may make me sound, that I cried a lot at the end of both day’s performances, and found the whole experience genuinely upsetting. It’s still affecting me several days later.
I’ve followed the group since their formation in 2018, and since then they’ve come to mean a massive amount to me. However, in the back of my mind is the question of why the concert, which marked the last time the group would perform before its April disbandment, affected me so much.
After all, I’m a grown man, I’ve never met the 12 members, and it’s not like the world is lacking girl groups to follow. The answer took time to understand, and is as much about what it means to support idols, as it is to how special IZ*ONE as a group is, and how the coronavirus pandemic has affected me, and I suspect many others, personally.
Idols
I support, and have supported, various idols and idol groups for years. Over this time I’ve seen members who I like graduate and move on to new things, and I’ve been sad but never crushed. The group itself has usually continued though, and even when it didn’t, I wasn’t so deeply invested that I felt any sense of loss.
The loss of IZ*ONE has been very different. I can only equate it to how it feels when a relationship breaks up, with that hideous knot in the pit of your stomach when you know you’re not going to see someone truly special again. Worse, it was a sudden breakup. IZ*ONE has always had an expiry date, but even without the hopes of a contract extension, no-one ever expected the end of the group to arrive so suddenly, and with almost no notice at all. Not just to us, but seemingly to the members too, who were visibly distraught on both concert days.
This is the start of why it was so upsetting. Idols are special people. I was once told by a former idol that they “shine,” and I think this is a wonderful description. IZ*ONE shines. The 12 members — Kwon Eunbi, Kang Hyewon, Kim Minju, Jang Wonyoung, Miyawaki Sakura, Jo Yuri, Choi Yena, Ahn Yujin, Yabuki Nako, Honda Hitomi, Kim Chaewon, and Lee Chaeyeon — are like a family together, and seeing them struggle to make it through the concert was extremely difficult.
To understand why, you have to understand what it means to support idols. Idol support works both ways, and in equal measures. As a fan, we watch and support their journey and self-growth, and in return, idols encourage us, watch over us, and bring us joy. A strong bond can quickly develop between an idol and fan.
Dedicated support
That’s the way it has been with IZ*ONE for two years — watching the members work hard, genuinely improve, and sharing in their happiness. It’s what the members give back that makes this so wonderful, Aside from an incredibly strong body of work, they’re always sharing their day, the delicious food they eat, the funny things that happen, and so much more. The closeness of the IZ*ONE members is only equal to the closeness between IZ*ONE and their fans, called WIZ*ONE.
I’ve never adopted a fandom name before, but so strong is my connection to IZ*ONE, that it seemed quite natural to do so. How strong? I own multiple copies of all their releases both physically and digitally, I’m a member of their official fan club, I own special edition books, I have attended their online concerts and subscribe to the group’s private mail app, plus I have watched most of their videos, and that includes some live broadcasts that are only in Korean, a language I don’t speak.
It goes further. IZ*ONE has often subtly featured in my day job, I’ve written stories about events featuring IZ*ONE, and I’ve even collaborated on a “Story-of” video explaining what makes the group special. What’s more, I also know that there are many, many far more dedicated fans than me. What I’m trying to illustrate here is the support IZ*ONE inspired, and how deep the connection went with me, and a lot of others. Supporting idols is often like this, but it has never been as strong for me personally as it is with IZ*ONE. They truly are special.
The 2020 effect
The coronavirus pandemic changed my life, just as it has for people all over the world. Although I have never been the most social person, lockdowns and concerns over catching the virus meant my fairly minimal human interaction has been reduced to almost nothing over the past year. I’ve always been comfortable with my own company, but many times loneliness has overwhelmed me, and on more occasions than I’m willing to admit, anxiety has made things worse.
While I have a personal support network of close friends and family, they can’t always be there, and that’s where idols come in. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve watched IZ*ONE have fun, laugh, and sing when I was feeling down, and they made me feel better. It was comforting seeing them each day, whether it was through official social media posts, or one of the hundreds of WIZ*ONE I follow on Twitter sharing their own favorite IZ*ONE moments. IZ*ONE became a welcome distraction from real life. Simply, IZ*ONE made me feel better.
This is part of the reason why the disbandment and the way the group ended hurt so much. IZ*ONE had become a support network, which has now been completely removed. But much, much worse was how the disbandment affected the members, and as an idol fan, this is the worst thing that could happen. On both days of the One, The Story concert, the members sobbed and poured out their feelings, and their reactions broke my heart. Despite this, they still delivered an amazing performance, proving again how much effort they put into making us happy.
Real emotion
It has taken a little time to consider and understand why I feel the way I do about IZ*ONE disbanding. Initially my thoughts and concerns were about the group, and how they were feeling after the concert and the news. Seeing Chaewon hyperventilating through her message to us, Nako’s raw emotion, and even the usually very strong Yujin cry was truly awful, but it was Minju’s words that hit me hardest. She talked about how she felt alone and sad before IZ*ONE, and how she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to go back being alone after the group was no longer together. My own feelings echo her words.
The sudden breakup and the restrictions due to the pandemic also means no-one has been able to say goodbye to IZ*ONE in person. I’d want to be there in the audience, at a time when it’s possible, to properly support the group during their last, emotional concert and I know I’m not the only one. Idol fandom isn’t something to be treated lightly as there’s real emotion at play, on both sides, and without respect from the companies behind the group, the pain ends up being considerable. For me, and I imagine a lot of others, it’s amplified even more by how life is at the moment.
Like Minju, I was often on my own before IZ*ONE, and the group changed that at a very important time of my life. Also like Minju, I don’t want to go back to the way it was before. If IZ*ONE really must disband — and the group’s success makes this seem like an odd decision by itself — denying both the group and fans of a meaningful, heartfelt and most of all cathartic goodbye borders on inhuman, because it’s at a time when idols matter the most, and when they should be truly thanked for everything they’ve done.